The Westie Files

I am a genius.I am sorry.I am a genius again.

Ye (Kanye) Westie — a very small dog on a twenty-four hour cycle he has never once completed.

Official channelsEvery official account will be linked here, and only here. Status and notices: where things stand.

Follow on XNot open yet Pump.funNot open yet

Genius in the doghouse. Photographed on a chain day.

Right now

What he is doing at this exact moment

Your clock, not his. He runs the same twenty-four hours every day and has never once got to the end of them.

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The receipts

Both halves, in his own words

Gold is the genius. Red is the apology. They are four hours apart and he means every one of them completely.

“I am not in the music industry. The music industry is in me.”03:41 · posted, then screenshotted 40,000 times

“I have had time to sit with that and I understand now why it landed the way it landed.”07:52 · statement · grey background, small type

“They will study this. Not the album. This sentence.”13:10 · said to a room containing one person

“To everyone I hurt: I hear you. To everyone I did not hurt: I hear you as well, just in case.”08:04 the next morning · the apology has begun apologising pre-emptively

“I do not have a comeback because I never went anywhere. You went somewhere.”19:22 · the godhood, fully restored

“I was tired. I was misheard. I was right, but I was tired.”09:15 · the shortest apology on record · retracted at lunch

The mask

Black. Sometimes crooked. Never explained.

It goes on, it goes off, it goes on backwards, and nobody in the building has ever once been told which one means what.

DOWN
Under the chinOff duty. Somewhere between eras and hasn’t picked one yet.
ON
Straight, covering everythingA genius day, and he wants you to see him decide that.
CROOKED
On, but slippingAlso a genius day. Argued differently, five minutes later.
REVERSED
Turned all the way aroundNobody has ever asked why. He has never explained.

Chain check

Is the chain on today

It is a very heavy chain and he loses it approximately as often as he finds it.

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The cycle

Four beats, forever

The apologies

What he said, and how long it lasted

The apology is always sincere and always temporary. The right-hand column is the gap between the two, and it has never once exceeded a working day.

Announced he was the greatest living artist in any medium

Clarified that he meant it as a feeling, not a ranking

4h 20m

Told a magazine the interview was over, during the interview

Sent the magazine a longer interview, unprompted

6h 05m

Renamed the album at 02:00 without telling the label

Renamed it back, and apologised to the label, and to the album

9h 40m

Said the doghouse was a metaphor and he had never been in one

Was photographed in the doghouse; called it a studio

1h 12m

Declared the chain finished and the era over

Wore the chain to the announcement of the next era

18h 30m

Apologised, at length, for apologising too much

Apologised for that apology, which he described as weak

0h 47m

Gaps are measured from the announcement to the retraction, by nobody, with great care. He maintains they are shorter.

The discography

Every title, all of them current

No album has ever been finished. Several have been released, which he considers a different thing entirely.

The one about the doghouse DOGHOUSE → THE DOGHOUSE → HOUSE → DOGHOUSE Announced in the spring. Released in the spring. Revised every spring since. The current pressing has one more song than the last one and one fewer than the next.
The one he says is not an album UNTITLED → NOT AN ALBUM → VOL. 1 Forty minutes long, mostly breathing. Critics called it brave. He agreed, then apologised for agreeing, then agreed again in the reissue notes.
The one that leaked [unreadable] → THE LEAK → MINE He leaked it. He has said this himself, twice, in the same interview, in both directions.
The gospel one SORRY (LIVE) → SORRY → THANK YOU Recorded in one take at 07:00, which is the apology hour. It is the only record he has never revised, because he cannot remember making it.
The next one the title is not ready It is different. It is the real one. The last one was also the real one. Release date: see the cycle above, then wait four hours.

The exes

The ones who were there before the cycle had a name

Everyone in this section knew him before the cycle had a name, and none of them is doing the interview.

Kim the Long-haired Chihuahua

She saw all of it. She is not doing the interview.

Elegant, quiet, and the only one who was there for the whole cycle before there was a cycle to name. She has not commented on the genius, the apology, or the chain — on or off the record — in years, and that silence is the whole statement.

The Other Exes, a row of them“It was a lot.”
A whippet, no further comment“It was a lot.”
A pomeranian, off the record“It was a lot.”
A dachshund, between takes“It was a lot.”
A shih tzu, already leaving“It was a lot.”

The yes-men

The inner circle, such as it is

The inner circle has one job, which is to agree, and one dog who keeps almost not doing it.

Pusha the French Bulldog

The only one who still says a track is mid.

Gets overruled every time. Gets asked again next week anyway, because somebody has to be the one who almost said no.

The Stylist

A poodle with a new statement look every week.

Mask, chain, whatever the era needs — assembled fresh, every cycle, right on schedule, whether the era has decided what it needs yet or not.

The Lawyer

A basset hound, permanently tired.

Says “no comment” to everything, including the questions that were actually compliments.

The cancellations

Two crowds, one dog, every single week

Every week the same dog hands two crowds two different reasons to turn up.

The Cancel Pack

“Cancelled.”

A pack of dogs who show up every week and say it again, about whatever it was this time. They have never once been wrong, by their own count, and never once been the same pack twice.

The Defenders

“He’s just being honest.”

A smaller crowd, same week, same dog. They arrive right after the Pack does, say their one line, and leave before the 7AM apology makes their case harder to make.

Both crowds show up for every cycle — 3AM tweet, 7AM apology, album drop, chain check. Neither has ever once talked the other one down.

Current genius level

The meter isn’t switched on

The meter doesn't lie. It just hasn't been switched on yet.

Status & notices

Where things stand

The one place on this site where the dog is not the one talking.

Token

No token has launched. $WESTIE is not a live asset: there is no contract address, no pool and no market, and nothing on this page is an invitation to buy anything.

Official channels

Accounts and contracts become official only when they are linked from the strip at the top of this page. If someone shows you one before that, it did not come from us.

The cast

The Westie Files is satire. Ye Westie, his exes, his yes-men and the crowds around them are fictional dogs, and no quote, timing or record here comes from a real person or a real event.

Genius or sorry

You decide. He is not going to.

Every one of these is a thing he has actually proposed, out loud, to someone who could not leave the room. There is no right answer. There is only your answer, and his.

Round 1 0 judged · streak 0

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Your run is kept on this device only. Nothing is sent anywhere.